Sense of Self

2019-2021

The series Sense of Self was inspired by the repressed components of my identity; parts of myself I have refused to explore for most of my life. I've struggled with not feeling like a real person, it's almost like I existed outside of my own body and mind, watching my entire life fly by without truly getting to live it.  Often I'd look in the mirror and not even recognize the person looking back at me. I have used this series to finally get to know myself, the same way I would get to know another person I have just met. 

One of the most important pieces of work in this series is Catharsis, which is a portrait of my daily struggle with c-PTSD caused by being raped by three different men between the ages of 16-21. To have been a teenager and young adult experiencing the heavy aftermath of multiple assaults was not easy. I’m haunted every day by the inevitable feeling that it’s going to happen again, and that there’s no way I could possibly protect myself. Each time I was assaulted it was by a friend, so I now live in fear that I am never safe even among people I love and trust. I had started this two years ago at the beginning of my healing process, and have continually reworked it into what became today.